Ultra Friendliness To Oneself

“Like a caring mother holding and guarding the life of her only child, so with a boundless heart of loving kindness, hold yourself and all beings as your beloved children.” ~ Buddha

The teaching of Buddha is full of self-love, self-acceptance, self-compassion and self-care. In Buddhism, there is no such concept as good and evil. People do bad things or harm others because they are ignorant or unconscious of what is going on in them.

To accept the basic goodness in people is not easy, especially when we look at criminals, war crimes, rapists, child abusers…etc. People might say how we can use the excuse that these “bad” people are just ignorant.

Trungpa Rinpoche said that to be a spiritual warrior means that we refuse to give up on anyone or anything. He said this is the essence of human bravery.

When I look at Bert Hellinger’s work of Family Constellation, he advocates we need to acknowledge what is. In the work of family constellation or Shamanic healing, I have seen some difficult situations that cause the clients misery. It can be war, death in the family, accidents, exploitations…etc. The sufferings are tremendous and devastating.

If we could not accept what is and hold the expectations on how people and things should be, we can’t move forward with life and live our life fully.

Romaine Rolland said: ” There is only one heroism in the world: to see the world as it is, and to love it.”

On our soul level, the only reason our fates bind with each other is out of love. Even it is the relationship between perpetrators and victims, the living and the dead. We are all connected to one another as one.

Buddha’s teaching reflects this.

The place to start is within ourselves. We all have the parts we love and hate about ourselves. Hold ourselves, especially the unwanted part of us, as our beloved child. Nurture it. Ask it what it is that we wanted the most and didn’t get from the outside. And then connect to the loving and kind source of the universe, whether you call it god(s), Buddha, helping spirits, power animals, spiritual guides, guardian angels…etc. Ask its wisdom, love and care coming in to our sore spots in our heart.

As Tara Brach mentioned in her book Radical Acceptance “When we embrace ourselves and others with Radical Acceptance, we are seeing past the roles, stories and behaviours that obscure our true nature. “

Being ultra friendly with ourselves is the key and the cornerstone on the path of our healing..

A Wild Man Is Not A Boyfriend

After reading Alison Nappi’s A Wild Woman Is Not A Girlfriend, I found Aubrey Marcus, one of my favorite podcasters, wrote a poem of wild man after he was inspired by the original wild woman version. 

It is also a very powerful poem from a wild man’s point of view. When I read the part “I am no poodle to lay groomed on a leash at your feet. I am the wolf that fetches the bones of truth.” 

I got this chill around my chest. It is not a bad chill but an energy surged in me that makes me ponder…”Am I able to accept my man as a wolf that fetches the bones of truth?” In the Alison Nappi’s wild woman version, I see myself asking my man to accept me as this furious wild woman. But here, am I wild enough to also accept my significant other to be in the same way? 

I think it is a two way streets. We are in this relationship/marriage together to grow and to learn to accept who we truly are whether we are in our strongest armors or standing at the edge of our vulnerability. 

A wild man is not a boyfriend, he is a force.

Can you love me in the blinding heat of a birthing star, when I shower warmth on distant moons?

Can you love me in the hole of the cosmic Black, where no one can reach me? Not even you?

Can you love me then too?

Can you love me when I drag buffalo skulls through the dirt for days, to the rhythm of an ancient drum?

Will you love me if my beard hides the scars in my heart, from battles I cannot explain?

WIll you love me when I lack courage, when I am defeated, when I won’t let you patch my wounds?

WIll you trust me when I smell of sweetgrass and sage, and when I stink of whiskey and sweat?

When I drink from the cup and play in astral light, will you anchor me to Home?

What happens when my words don’t work, and I can speak with only my eyes?

Can you love me enough to let me go, without asking me where I’ll be?

I am no poodle to lay groomed on a leash at your feet. I am the wolf that fetches the bones of truth.

A wild man is not a boyfriend. He’s not built for animal husbandry. He is a force. He is a cause for an effect. He is a mission.

Are you afraid to let me inside you? Not just my flesh, but my soul. The wild man is neither burglar or vandal. I will not take anything from you. I will not trample on sprouting seeds or pick flowers as a trophy. I am the sun on flooded fields and the fire for tangled webs.

Don’t be scared, lover, mother, maiden, crone. Take me as I am.

Even if I have the power to destroy worlds, I will not destroy you.

A wild man is a protector. A father. A warrior for all that is good.

When the chaos seeks to obliterate you, sheering your flesh from bone, I will hold all the pieces together in love, until you are ready to reassemble.

When your seas boil, and your winds throw cars at corn fields, I will wait patiently for you to catch my eye, so that both of us can laugh.

When Hell opens up the fiery gates, and sends all the cosmos against you, I plant my heels deep in the ground. I lay my shield low. My sword is sharp then, my love. The steel sings sweetly. With a smile, Hoka Hey! My last breath a farewell kiss. Today is a good day to die.

For ours is the oldest love affair. The greatest story ever told. Cupid and Psyche, Shiva and Shakti, You and I.

Same same but different. Would we have it any other way?

A wild man is not a boyfriend. He is a force.

A Wild Woman Is Not A Girlfriend

This is a powerful and beautiful poem by Alison Nappi. 

But can you love me in the deep? In the dark? In the thick of it?

Can you love me when I drink from the wrong bottle and slip through the crack in the floorboard?

Can you love me when I’m bigger than you, when my presence blazes like the sun does, when it hurts to look directly at me?

Continue reading A Wild Woman Is Not A Girlfriend

Mythical Kings and Iguanas

This song reflects the regrets of a spiritual seeker who only focuses on the mystical things that are above the cloud and neglects the fact that he/she should cherish every moment to live in the body–the temple.

We all encountered some who are searching for the way to leave their bodies or this earth and never come back because it is too hard to live in this body.

If we do not connect with our body, our instinct, and our feeling in our heart in this body, we also can’t find our way to truly connect with our soul.

Mythical Kings and Iguanas By Dory Previn

I have flown to star-stained heights
On bend and battered wings
In search of mythical kings
Mythical kings

Sure that everything of worth
Is in the sky and not the earth
And I never learned to make my way
Down, down, down where the iguanas play

I have ridden comet tails
In search of magic rings to conjure
Mythical kings
Mythical kings

Singing scraps of angel-song
High is right and low is wrong
And I never taught myself to give
Down, down, down where the iguanas live

Astral walks I try to take
I sit and throw I ching aesthetic bards
And tarot cards are the cords to which I cling
Don’t break my strings

(I wish you would)
Or I will fall
(I wish I could, I wish I could
I wish I could)

Curse the mind that mounts the clouds
In search of mythical kings
And only mystical things
Mystical things

Cry for the soul that will not face
The body as an equal place
And I never learned to touch for real
Or feel the things, iguanas feel
Down, down, down

Where they play
Teach me, teach me
Teach me, teach me

Thank You For Being On My Path

In the past few years, I met many people from all walks of life in my Shamanic practice. I always feel grateful that people are openly sharing their vulnerable moments and stories with me. On the surface, as a Shamanic practitioner, I seem to be the person who is giving the healing and clients are the receiving end. However, I always feel that on the deeper level, it is a mutual relationship when it comes to giving and receiving. I learn so much from these precious interactions with my clients.
I feel I get to reach people’s souls covered by layers of wrapping papers. People are not just what they show on the outside. Underneath there somewhere, there is always a source of strength, wisdom, power, potentiality, and openness. The most sacred thing on this path is to witness the transformation in people. I get to witness people go from powerless to empower, hopeless to hopeful, confused to peaceful and wise, depressed to heartened. I feel this is the most sacred part as a Shamanic practitioner; that is to witness the unlimited inner potential, power, and wisdom in everyone. For this, I give my gratitude.

Why Love Your Ememies

love-your enemy

This is a sharing from Working with I Am Word with Paul Selig group.

From Michael Sandlers “Inspire Nation” show last week. He asked Paul, “How do we shift our country into love”. The Guides response:
Know who you are, know who your neighbor is, don’t despise who you don’t know. Don’t decide they are a threat.

Act in love and you will know love. Who you exclude from love you make your enemy, you build your wall against.

To build a wall against another is to exclude them from the light that you say you truly are. There can be no walls. You stand in the light to shine upon all you see not just the things you would prefer, or have in your view. You must claim the truth in all things, not just the things that are easy for you or would give you what you want…”

Continue reading Why Love Your Ememies

Fake Introvert

This youtube video reminds me of the time when i first moved here. I always thought i was an extrovert back home, especially when i speak my mother tongue. But when i first moved here, i experienced how it was like to be an introvert because of the language barrier. It was not that i didn’t speak any English. I was just overwhelmed by all this unfamiliar topics, terms, slangs, cultures,social etiquettes…etc. Well, even familiarize with the pronunciation of people’s name was a great challenge. Everything was just so new that it required a new set of brain cells to grow so all the new information can be accomodated in my little brain. It was like i needed a new set of CPU and hard drive to process and store all the new data.

So i have those really awkward moments of silence during conversations with people. It’s not that i want to create the awkwardness, it’s more like my CPU was too slow and the computer is experiencing a really bad lag and unable to grab any useful information to use at the moment. I’m sure everyone has that moment that computer is just not moving anywhere in the middle of the work. And in real life the lag translated into awkward silence. lol.

Because of this, I tended to feel exhausted after social gatherings. I felt i was drained a lot and needed to recoup by being in the secluding mode. It has nothing to do with who i hung out with. My brain was just generally overloaded. hahaha. At that time, i thought i was really an introvert that i never really knew i was. I felt I was no longer my original self. My personality seemed splited in two sides…I was comfortable when I’m with family and friends who speak Chinese and was overloaded when i’m with family and friends who speak English.

Trying to pull myself out of the two personalities and being an observer, i saw how different I could be in different environments.

Now i guess the development of the brain cells is more equal for two different languages and cultures and i integrated both sides of me after so many years. The awkward silence (lagging process timeXD) decreases…it didn’t not disappear 100% but it got much better. haha.

Now i think i’m more like an omnivert (who came up with all these interesting definition?! haha) who is extrovert in a low stimulating environment and introvert in a high stimulating environment. For me, high stimulating environment is the place i am really not familiar with. People speak English or Chinese but I couldn’t really get the context of the content or it is just the place or occassion that i haven’t got used to yet.